Wishing upon a star
09 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in Lifestyle, Relationships, Women
After a long day I stood outside in the back yard looking up at sky wishing for a shooting star to pass me by, I did not see one but yet I made a wish just in case one had passed behind a cloud.
Situations can turn from good to bad so easily, sometimes it doesn’t take long either. When you see less and less time of each other and suspicions start to raise their ugly heads, dark clouds can form over your head and it seems that the situation can only get worse because you have tried to make it better but it takes two to tango doesn’t it and if the other half does not wish to change things for the better then all you can do is watch your relationship fade out.
I fear the loss of him deeply and yet a part of me is constantly frustrated with him and longing for him to show me some affection. He seems to only want one thing and defines affection as being merely physical, telling me that he has needs; boy have I heard that line so many times before in the past when someone is at the start of their straying from me.
However there is a vicious circle that a lot of men tend to forget – in order for a woman to reciprocate the physical advances she first needs to be turned on emotionally first, she needs to know that she is loved and wanted, that he needs her, cares for her, she needs to feel that she is the most precious person to him besides his own children.
Sad though it may seem but I have found myself shedding the odd tear at the television when I see music videos where the guy and the girl are falling in love, I also see the ones about fighting etc and can so relate and I sit here in these four walls which I am stuck in wishing for a fairytale whereupon I am cherished and loved for who and what I am. I may be, to him, considered to be a monster but that is the last thing that I am, I am just a girl wanting a guy to love her. As that too much to ask? As I play Russian Roulette with my relationship’s future I got to thinking of Russian Roulette – Rihanna and how it is a perfect metaphor for some of the goings on in my relationship, especially when I await his return from work or from a night out drinking.
